Radiant Comics

I find that some days are tough and they become all about just getting through the day. Especially during this Coved-19 crisis. I had a few days like that this week. It’s funny because a week before I got two of my big ink drawings done in one week. I haven’t done that in a long while. The surprising thing then was that I wasn’t even feeling the groove but somehow I managed to roll from one right into the other.

The key is knowing what I want to do. For the first big ink drawing I had the idea that I wanted to do another portrait. The problem was that I didn’t have any idea who I wanted to make a portrait of. So I settled on just drawing a face. That was a good enough substitute to keep me going. After that I wanted to do one of my more regular drawings of the Dreamworld with weird figures, faces, and landscapes in it. I got both of those done in a week with a burst of activity. Then I burned out.

It’s not unusual that I don’t have the energy or ambition to work on something big. That happens all the time. Working on big projects for no pay takes a lot of self motivation and that’s not always in supply. That’s when I can turn to my smaller pieces in order to keep making art. Usually.

In the spirit of my smaller pieces I decided to check my box of 11×17 drawings in which I have stuff in progress. What caught my eye was the oldest pencil drawing in the box. It wasn’t dated so I had to look through my scan folder to find out when I had drawn it. Turns out it was from 2016. Four years ago. It was “Saint Blue #1.” A drawing of a woman on a geometric background. I decided to ink it.

I got out my brushes, pens, and ink and got it done but I was never into it. It didn’t come out badly or anything but I think the image is pretty mediocre. The figure work and design of the drawing didn’t make me feel anything and though I finished it as skillfully as I could I think it’s one of my blander drawings. No wonder it was sitting around for so long.

I’ve also noticed I haven’t been able to get much done in the digital realm. I often have books projects or digital photo projects underway but I haven’t worked on any of them. Being digital they don’t exist as much in the physical realm. I make printouts of the photos and books eventually but ninety percent of the work takes place in the computer. I think that’s seemed a little too unreal for me lately so I haven’t wanted to deal with it. Except for a few black and white photos.

This winter I got into the idea of printing black and white photos. (Black and white photo blog.). I made a whole bunch of them and ended up nearly filling up a 48 page portfolio of them. I got good at processing them digitally and then printing them so that they didn’t take me a long time to make one. They’re just standard type black and white photos so unlike my photo collages they take an hour to do rather than days. I ended up filling out the last six photos for the portfolio case in a day. I got things done that day.

Following the photo day I decided to do a bit of drawing. For my “Dreams of Things” series I’ve been making 6×9 inch pencil drawing that I blow up to make 11×17 inch ink drawings out of. One of those pencil drawings usually takes anywhere from two to four hours to make. Drawing number 93 took me about six hours to make. It seemed to take forever. It came out nice but it took all my concentration to get done. I had to take frequent breaks because it was hard to motivate myself. I remember that being a tough day.

After that the weekend came around. I usually get stuff done on the weekends but not this weekend. I made some YouTube videos, did some Zoom socializing, and got my Four Talking Boxes comic strip done for the week but didn’t get any drawing done or art made. Instead I did a bit of reading and hoped to recharge.

Monday rolled around and I pulled out my box of 11×17 inch drawings to find something to work on. I decided to marker color my “Dreams of Things” #86 cover. It took all day and a lot of concentration and energy. Once again I never got rolling with it. It came out fine but nor spectacular. At least I didn’t feel spectacular about it.

On Tuesday I decided to try something different. I was searching for something to work on and decided to make one of my 5×7 inch cartoon art cards. That’s when I draw a face with a word balloon above it. I hadn’t made one of these in two years. I make a lot of baseball size art cards for my “Drifting and Dreaming” comic but these ones are bigger. I pencil, write, letter, ink, and then color them. Each one takes an hour to two to make. They’re kind of pointless since I don’t even make a comic strip out of them but I like them. I ended up making just two of them. That took me all day.

Wednesday I decided to go dark. I pulled out my rough 5×7 watercolor paper and my busted brush and made some monster faces. Since my mood hadn’t been great I embraced the dark monsters. I can make these drawings fairly quickly if I get into it. Each one takes a half hour to an hour to make. How many I can get done in a session is variable but I ended up working all day on them. I got eight of them finished. That seemed like a lot. Especially since, once again, I never felt like I was on a roll.

On Thursday I went back to the 5×7 inch cartoon art cards. I got three of them finished but that was it. They came out okay and amused me but were tough to do. I also spend part of the day scanning all this stuff in so I had digital copies of everything. This is par for the course for me. Not the most productive day but stuff got done.

Now It’s Friday morning as I write this. I’m still not as into it as I could be. I took my latest big ink drawing off my easel in preparation for putting a new big piece of paper up there. Maybe I’ll even figure out what I want to draw on it today. We’ll have to see. Meanwhile I’ll keep on keeping on.

I feel like writing another “Friends” walkthrough so here we go. Looks like I’m on episode 12 of Season Three. It’s called “The One With All the Jealousy.” The episode originally aired on January 16, 1997. I watched it as it aired so let me check my calendar and see what else I did that day. I’ve got two notations. I took money out of the ATM near my home but then spent $55 at Games Express all the way down in NYC. I must have bought a video game but I don’t know which one. I also don’t know why I’d go all the way into NYC to buy a game since I wasn’t working at Marvel that day. A bit of a mystery to me.

The show starts with Chandler getting in trouble for cracking wise to Rachel on her first day of a new job. This is the beginning of Rache’s career in fashion. The first two seasons of her being a waitress are done. Ross making snorting noises as he shows off his dinosaur tie is good stuff. Phoebe walks in with a ton of purses for Rachel to choose from. The jealousy is starting early as Ross finds out that Mark, the one who got Rachel the job, is taking her out to lunch for her first day. Chandler has to go to a bachelor party which we never see. It’s just needed plot-wise. Here comes the theme song.

New scene in Chandler’s apartment with Ross trying to deal with his jealousy. Joey has an audition for a play. That must be the second plot for the episode. Joey’s small vocabulary leads to some funny business.

A quick scene change and Now Rachel is at work with Mark and Ross calls. More jealousy is coming up. I have to say that Ross’s jealousy can be awkward and ugly but he wasn’t wrong. Mark was sure acting like he was interested in Rachel and I think the plot bore that out in later episodes. This plot makes me feel sorry for Ross. He sees his own doom ahead and has no idea how to handle it. Rachel acts like it’s all in his head but it it’s really in Mark and Rachel’s behavior. The office scene is really awkward.

Now we’re at Monica’ job where she’s working at a 1950’s costume diner. She’s in a pink fuzzy sweater, blonde wig, with a stuffed bra. Now I remember this plot (third plot of the episode). She’s got a crush on her coworker Julio who is a poet with a Spanish accent. He finds her beautiful but empty. He hooks up with her of course and it’s not until later on that we find out that he thinks she’s shallow.

Now we go to Joey’s audition where he is singing for a musical. He belts out a funny song but then we discover he lied on his resume and they think he has three years dance experience with Twyla Tharp and five years with the American Balet Theatre. Of course he doesn’t which is going to lead to great embarrassment later on in the episode. Between Ross’s jealousy and Joey’s lying there is a lot of uncomfortable awkwardness in this episode. Joey dancing at home is also good stuff.

Chandler is trying to hire a stripper for the bachelor party. Miss Crystal Chandelier. Meanwhile Julio wrote Monica a poem during their date and reads it to the gang. It’s about an empty vase that Phoebe susses out is Monica. Should she break it to Monica? First she has to explain it to Chandler. In a funny bit Joey reads the poem slowly but he gets the poem’s meaning even as Chandler didn’t.

Back to Ross’s awkward jealousy. He’s marking his territory. He sends so many flowers to Rachel that they take up her office. She doesn’t appreciate it as you might imagine. Now here comes a barbershop quartet to sing to her. Or should I say embarrass her. We switch locations and they’re at the apartment with Rachel dressing down Ross for his behavior. I feel sorry for Ross. He can’t stop his doom. He can only make it worse.

The three boys are in the coffee shop and they’re telling Ross how it is. They don’t trust Mark either and are on Ross’s side. But there is still nothing he can do about it. Chandler gives him bad advice. Joey is funny predicting the future.

Mark is back at the office with Rachel and his (Mark’s) girlfriend. Now we go to sitcom land where Ross overhears Mark, thinks Mark is with Rachel, and Ross makes a fool of himself. Ross continues to doom himself. But Rachel sure doesn’t help.

It’s the culmination of the Joey plotline. A twist happens where Joey has to teach the rest of the people auditioning for the show how to dance. Of course he can’t.

Before we get to the end of that plot it’s Monica buying a vase for Julio and Phoebe has to break the news to her. Monica is the empty vase. Monica confronts Julio. This is a little awkward too but it’s still funny. Julio tells Monica she’s not the empty vase. All American women are. That doesn’t go over well.

Back to Joey. He’s taught the class his own terrible dance. He’s put on the spot once more and he runs out of the studio. A funny run.

Chandler is back from the unseen bachelor party and at the coffee shop with Rachel. That bachelor party plot wasn’t much. It was all just something for Chandler to talk about this episode. Our standard three plots were: Joey’s dancing, Monica’s empty vase, and Ross’s jealousy. The bachelor party was a rare fourth plot element that wasn’t really fleshed out. It wasn’t really a plot but was needed for a finishing joke in Ross and Rachel’s plot.

Ross come into the coffee shop to apologize to Rachel. Ross is sweet and Rachel is forgiving. Then we find out that Ross and his son Ben have a playdate with the stripper from the bachelor party (this end joke was the whole reason for all the bachelor party talk). The tables are turned and Rachel gets jealous. This is kind of the end of Rachel’s jealousy but not Ross’s. Chandler gets a zinger in. Monica ends the show by hiring the barbershop quartet to sing an insulting song to Julio. And we’re out.

Let me check the internet to see what was cut out of the syndicated (and Netflix and HBO) version of this episode. Looks like they cut out Joey’s being able to grok the poem. That was a funny bit. Plus another scene with Joey talking about his dance class. And a little bit of Chandler at the end. I’m glad I watch these old DVD copies with all the extra material in them. They’re not HD but they’re funnier.

I checked my ratings from when I rated all the episodes on iTunes and as I guessed I gave this episode three out of five stars. It was solid but not one of the better ones. A little too much awkwardness for my taste but still some laughs.

This week I was trying to get some drawings done. Drawings for my “Message Tee” comic. My original concept for that comic was to make 52 drawings of people in T-shirts, put messages on the shirts, and then reuse the the drawings and put new messages on them the next year. Instead of just the 52 drawings I ended up making 52 drawings a year for three years. I then repeated those drawing three times each over six more years. So that’s 156 Message Tee drawings and 468 total comics in nine years. A solid run.

This year I decided I wanted some new Message Tee drawings. The main problem with that is 52 drawings is a lot of work. I usually first draw them in pencil and then ink them. The old ones I made were on 9×12 paper. At least the finished inks were. The pencils may have been smaller. I’m sure at least one batch of 52 had smaller pencil drawings.

I wasn’t sure if I had the energy to do another 52 new drawings. I pictured it taking me all summer to do. NI wouldn’t work on them everyday but only now and again. That’s how I did them the first three times. Plus, as I’ve written before, things have a way of taking way longer than I think they should. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to start on the 52 drawings. It was a big hill.

That’s what I came up with a different approach. The drawings in the Message Tee strip aren’t really the point of the comic. The messages are what it’s really about. I wanted to make nice drawings but I didn’t think it was a good idea to be so precious with them. So I wanted to think of a better way to do them.

It started with the paper. I had a sketchbook that I got last year as a party favor at a friend’s Bar Mitzvah. It’s about 5×7 inches. The paper in the sketchbook was generic drawing paper. Not bad at all but not high quality paper. But it was just the kind of paper I wanted. Generic drawing paper is less forgiving then high quality drawing paper. You can’t attack generic paper with reckless abandon and erase on it over and over. You have to take it easy on the paper to not ruin it. I was looking to take it easy.

The next decision I made was to use a pencil. Since I wanted to keep thing simple in order to get things done I almost was going to draw these directly in ink. Often when I use a pencil I spend a lot of time getting things just so. A pencil with its sharp point and ability to be erased lends itself to that. Sometimes working with a pencil gets frustrating because I get caught up in details that really don’t matter but at the moment they seem to. When working directly in ink it’s easier to move on, even from a mistake, because there is no erasing. It can be a freeing way to draw.

The pencil I decided to use was a General’s Sketching Pencil. That’s a big wide pencil that doesn’t come to a point. The lead is a rectangle about a quarter inch wide by a eighth of an inch thick. I chose that one because I can’t draw details with it. I’d sketch in the general shape of the character without worrying about the details. I’d put them in when I hit the ink stage.

This turned out to be a good system for getting things done. I avoided being bogged down. The first day I did this I aimed to get ten drawings one. First I’d sketch one out then I’d finish it with my Sign Pen and Sharpie. I avoided my brush and fancy tools in order to keep things simple. I used the Sign Pen (refilled with India ink) to draw in the details and the Sharpie to add some thickness to the lines. It all worked out oaky. It took all day but I got ten drawings down the first day. Yet I still wasn’t sure I could get anymore done.

The next morning I decided to give it a go again. Except this time I’d do it slightly differently. In stead of alternating between pencils and inks I decided to sketch out ten drawings first. This made all the difference. The sketching is actually the most creative part of the process and instead of moving in and out of that mode, as I did the day before, I stayed there. I found that easier. I got the drawings done much faster. Ten that day in about two thirds the time of the first day.

Even with the success of that second day I still was expecting these drawing to take me a month or two. I wanted to spend my time doing more fun stuff. Plus after doing the twenty drawings I took the time to scan them in and set them up to be colored digitally. That took more time and was no fun. It had to be done though.

It’s odd but I only got the rest of the drawings done because I wasn’t in a good mood. I don’t know why but I wasn’t feeling creative nor did I want to do anything. But even when I’m not it the mood I’m still in the habit of getting things done. After all my other choice was to do nothing and I’m not a fan of that.

So I stood at my desk and drew some Message Tee people. For two days that I barely remember I drew and got another twenty drawings done. I was worried that I wouldn’t get this batch of drawings done because it’s a fairly mindless (and not very fun) process but the fact that it’s mindless is what helped me get them done. I didn’t have the energy to get something super creative done but I could get something mildly creative done. I scanned in and set up those twenty drawing too.

On the last day my mood cleared and I was only twelve drawings away from finishing. That actually got me excited. I knocked out twelve sketches and then knocked out twelve ink drawings. Those last twelve were fun to do because I knew I was at the end. I scanned in the last of them and set them up for color.

As I was drawing these figures I was also writing the messages for their shirts. I usually write a “Four Talking Boxes” comic strip first thing in the morning as I get ready for my day but I’m far ahead with them so I decided to write some Message Tees. I need 52 pithy sayings but it’s my habit to write 104 of them and then pick the best 52. So I wrote five at breakfast time and five more at night. I’ve almost got my 104 done. I’ve got nine left.

Six days. That’s the time the 52 drawings took me. I had one day of not working on them in there. I never dreamed I’d get them done that fast but I’m glad I did. Now I wonder how much time it’s going to take me to color them.

I’ve got a blank piece of paper on my easel right now. It’s not quite blank. I drew a border around the outside edge. That’s how I always start one of my big ink drawings. It’s been on my easel for about four days now. That rarely happens. It’s not often I put up a piece of paper and then don’t work on it. There have been plenty of times that I’ve not worked on my easel for weeks and even months as I work on stuff either on the computer or on my drawing table but usually I have a finished drawing or painting on there.

I’ve been contemplating what a blank piece of paper on there means. It’s kind of nutty thinking about a blank piece of paper but that’s the kind of thing I do. I think about weird things like that.

First of all the drawing board that’s on my easel is white. So visually the blank piece of paper isn’t much different than the board itself. I even taped the piece of paper on the board and it sat there for about a day without a border on it. It was just a big blank piece of white paper taped to the white board with white tape. It was the second day that I decided that I may as well get started on the next big ink drawing and drew the border. Then I did nothing on it.

I’m not a procrastinator. Just the opposite. If there is an unpleasant task to do I like to get to it right away and move on. I like to get the thing done and then move on to things I actually want to do. I’m good at being self-motivated. I don’t need deadlines. I’ve known people who couldn’t get started working on a project until the deadline started getting close. They needed the pressure of the deadline to get them going. That’s not me. I’m good at managing time, don’t like deadline pressure, and can get things done on my own. My point is that the paper isn’t still blank because I’m procrastinating.

I’ve been working on other things since the paper has been on my easel. Lately I’ve been working on my “Dreams of Things” series of “Covers of Comic Books That Don’t Exist.” I’ve inked three of them and marker colored that many again. I’ve been woking on a bunch of 6×9 inch pencil drawings that I make for either those covers or my big ink drawings. As a matter of fact I’ve got about a half dozen drawings to choose from for my next big ink drawing. So why aren’t I working on one? That’s the question I have for myself.

Waiting around for inspiration is a bad idea. A lot of people think that’s how art is made. Something inspires and motivates an artist and so they get to work. That does happen but it’s rare. If you want to make art you have to get to work inspiration or no inspiration. That’s not easy to do. That’s why most people never do it.

I like to have a lot of different things to work on. That’s how I keep making art. This year after I got tired of making big ink drawings I worked on some 18×24 inch acrylic paintings. Earlier in the year, as I was commuting, I drew a lot of my cartoon art cards that I use in my “Drifting and Dreaming” comic strip. I aimed to get a year’s worth of strips done (that’s 52 of them) and so had to make 104 cartoon art cards plus another 52 regular art cards. It took me months but I got it done.

I have an 11×17 inch aluminum box that I keep unfinished work in. That includes my faux comic book covers and drawings for prints. Whenever I need something to work on I go over to the box and look through it. I can pick a work that needs to be inked or colored. If nothing catches my eye in the box I often look through my inkbooks to find a sketch that I can pencil and then set up to either be inked right then and there or go in the box for the future.

I also have my inkbook to work in. I fill eight pages a month in it with each page being about seven to nine small ink drawings. Some mornings that’s all I can muster. Any ambition to work on something big is gone so I work on something small. My inkbook drawings are not only physically small (it’s an 5.5×8.5 inch book) but they’re conceptually small too. The drawings are quick idea drawings that may or may not ever turn into something. They’re not finished works themselves so that makes them easy to finish.

That brings us back to that 22×30 inch blank piece of paper on my easel. What am I going to do with it? I think that’s why it’s still sitting there. I don’t have a satisfactory answer to that question. I’ve made nearly fifty of these big ink drawings so what is the next one going to be? I’m a bit bored with making them as I always have. I need to find something new to do with it. Or maybe something old.

I was actually looking through some old drawings and a couple caught my eye. A couple that were different from the rest. They’re the ones were I took a pair of my old paintings of a floating eye and geometric shapes and blew them up into big ink drawings. They used more of a graphic design space than my usual landscape picture space. I had forgotten I had made those ones and they looked new to me. Fresh.

The blank paper is still there looking back at me as I look at it. I’m not sure when I’ll get to it but I think I’ll get to making some sketches of eyes and shapes first. I also want to draw another portrait but I have no idea of who to draw. But that’s for another day. And another piece of blank paper.

They say that Covid Brain is a real thing. That’s when this pandemic we are in the middle of makes it hard for your brain to plan for the future. It’s trying to cope with the here and now and the future be damned. It’s a survival mechanism. I’ve certainly been feeling some of that for at least the last month or so as I haven’t been able to get any big art projects started. I’ve been getting stuff done but it’s been my small ink drawings and tentacle monsters. I just keep making more of those. I don’t have a plan for them yet though.

I like to make books. Most of my professional work has been something to do with publishing so I know how to make them. It’s been a few years now but back in 2015-2016 (I think) I made a few print on demand books. Turned out there wasn’t any demand for them so I haven’t made any since. I even abandoned one that was about 90% done. It’s tough to get up any enthusiasm for a project that’s meant for others to read when not many people want to read it. But still I want to make some more books if my Covid brain will let me. I think books are cool in general.

I haven’t been writing many ideas down in my bullet point journal in the last month but one idea did come to me this week. One Hundred Words About 50 Drawings. I think I’ve almost done fifty 6×9 inch ink drawings this past month. If not I have at least another thirty of them I drew in times past. My idea is that I could write one hundred word stories about them and put them all into a book. Or maybe more words. We’ll see if I can even muster the enthusiasm to start it.

Another thing on my agenda is to find a place to lay all the 6×9 inch drawings down and look at them. I don’t have a wall to table big enough to put them all on so I might end up using the floor. Sometimes doing that helps me to motivate myself. I put whole lot of my work side by side just to see what I’ve done. Thirty drawings in a pile that I can only view one by one doesn’t always help. Sometimes I need an expanse of them to get some sort of perspective to motivate myself. Maybe tomorrow.

Another idea for a book I had, that came to a screeching halt a few weeks ago, was a book of my photos that I took back in 1996 of various coworkers in the Marvel Bullpen. I figured it would be a nice keepsake for people. I did a little bit of design on the book and even took the time to color correct and clean up all the scans of the negatives of the photos. That took days, But then I stopped. I would have to proof all the photos by printing them out on my inkjet printer. About 35 photos. I just didn’t want to spend the money on the paper and ink. It’ll be a while until I start making money again so it’ll be a while until I get back to this project.

Speaking of photographs I haven’t made anything out of any of my street photos in months. I’m writing this in mid-July and usually by this time I’d have taken three trips to NYC and Bryant Park to take street photos but Covid-19 has kept me away. It has also kept me from making use of my past photos.

What I normally do is pick a dated digital folder that’s filled with my street photos and look through it. I’ll pick out a few photos I might want to work on. Then I crop them, retouch them, color correct them, and post them on Instagram. Or maybe I get a bigger idea for one of the photos and make one of my photocaps out of it. That’s a digitally manipulated photo collage and caption. I haven’t made one of those in months.

I’m not sure why but I haven’t posted any of my past street photos to Instagram at all in at least the last month. I used to post plenty of them. Probably at least once a week but I’d often go on tears and prep and post different ones for days in a row. I’ve barely looked at any of my street photos in weeks and certainly haven’t taken any new ones.

I’ve gotten some of my “Dreams of Things” covers done. I’m approaching having a hundred of them finished and I want to make something out of them. Maybe some sort of book. But I have no idea what kind of book. I guess it would basically be an art book but without some kind of idea or theme, besides the obvious, it’s tough to think of what to do with an art book. How to present the artwork in an interesting way is what I’m wrestling with.

One of the things I’d like to do is to take some nice photos of my art. A few years ago I got a bunch of colored paper, set it up as a background, and took photos of lots of my art. They were art as objects photos. Usually when I photograph my art I looking to get it looking as close to it looks in real life as possible. But with these photos I was trying to make them look more like still lives.

For some of my smaller paintings I’d use a small easel, prop them on it, and then take a photo with a blurred our background. For my “Dreams of Things” covers I’d put down a whole bunch of colored paper on a big drawing board and then drop a cover on top of the paper. I’d artfully arrange the cover and colored paper.

It’ll take a whole day to shoot photos of the art I’ve done so that makes it a big project. At least these days it does. Let’s see if I can get it done.