Radiant Comics

I’ve had this head cold/sinus thing going on for the past week and a half. Nothing terrible or life threatening but enough to make my days uncomfortable to miserable (on a sliding scale). It’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t keep someone from going into work but would slow you down. It doesn’t stop you in your tracks like a flu but they’ll be no spring in your step.

I actually find it pretty easy to go into work with a cold because what choice would I have? People go into work with mild sicknesses all the time because it’s expected of them. Being sick is considered “unproductive” in our “work work work” society unproductive is the ultimate corporate sin. So it ends up that it’s the self motivated stuff that suffers with my decline.

Being an artist and working on an endless amount of projects that bring no immediate financial gain means that self motivation is a big factor. Let’s face it most people don’t do things unless they are getting paid for it. Getting paid is an excellent motivational factor. It might only be beaten out by love, lust, or loyalty but then again for many people money comes in number one.

So I finished up some paying work I was doing earlier in the week. Cold or no cold if I didn’t do it I wouldn’t get paid for it (there’s that money motivation for you). I took it easy and paced myself. When not sick I have a tendency to work long hours on the paying stuff to get it done as soon as possible. That way I can make time for my own self motivated un-paying work. But this week I did a little at a time and rested a lot. I was feeling better and getting stronger with each day of the week. And then Friday came.

I had the day ahead of me and was caught up on my paying jobs. I wanted to do some work on some prints I’ve been making and was looking forward to it. But man I couldn’t wake up. I got out of bed and got ready for my day but wow my head was cloudy. Even with some more of the medicine that had helped me earlier in the week I lacked clarity. If I had been going into a job that day I would have. What choice would I have had? But a cold completely kills self motivation. There’s no energy for it. So I had to just sit around doing nothing.

Some people are good at sitting around and doing nothing. I’m not one of them. I like to do something. I’m not the kind who needs someone or something to entertain me. I also don’t need to be going somewhere to be doing something. I’m much more interested in being interested than in being entertained. I like to spend my time painting, drawing, or doing something generally creative. I like to make things. So when I have to sit around and do nothing I get antsy. So Friday I alternately took naps and got antsy. Antsy isn’t good. It burns up what little energy I have.

When I’m working I usually have the TV on or some music playing. But when I’m doing nothing I can’t concentrate on movies or music. In between my naps I kept trying to find something to watch, since I had no energy, but nothing could hold my interest. Those are days that make life seem empty. Nothing to do no where to go and no energy for anything anyway. Being sick just sucks.

I think that is why I never liked medical dramas. Whether in print or in the moving pictures I’ve always failed to see any drama in sickness. In my book illness just sucks. Period. I find nothing dramatic about sickness at all. I especially hate when a TV show throws in a character with a terminal illness (Battlestar Galactica I’m talking to you) and you just know that later on in the season they are going to find some magic cure for the illness. And they do.

Sure the excitement for these stories is in the cure but I fail to find any entertainment value because the misery of the sickness distracts me too much. Usually these shows give you the “drama” of the sickness and then the excitement of the cure. I just see fifty minutes of misery and then ten minutes of inevitable pre-programed happiness. The fifty minutes of misery just remind me how cruel and empty life can be when you’re sick. People who like medical dramas must like the sense of hope at the end of them. That’s not enough for me to sit through all the misery.

So I made it through my sad little minor sickness and day of getting nothing done. I’m glad it doesn’t happen often but I gotta get better at doing nothing.

A few short things for you today. After last week’s waxing poetic about springtime we got a seven or so inches of the heaviest snow and ice mixture I’ve ever seen (or shoveled!). This puts off my getting onto the road bike for a week or so. Now I really want spring to get here. I hate big March snowstorms. They’re fine in December, January, or February but mid March? That steps on my tail.

I ordered a new bag for carrying art supplies and stuff. I’ve needed a new one for a while now but haven’t seen anything I really liked. This one is “designed by artists for artists” and has lots of pockets for little stuff, a padded center section for a laptop, and it can fit a 14×17 inch pad of paper. That last bit is the hard part. Most medium size attache/messenger type bags end at about sixteen inches long. The next size up is usually huge, cumbersome, and not made for the purpose of carrying about comfortably. I remember searching for a bag with my friend Ed many years ago. He wanted one that could hold 11×17 inch paper and you wouldn’t believe how many bags he looked at that were just a little short. The one I ordered might be a little tall but what the hell, I took a chance. I’ll let you know how it is.

I’m trying to decide whether to get an XBox 360 or a Wii. I want the XBox just to play live games (those are the games played over the internet with friends or strangers in different locations) with my friends who I used to play regular XBox live games with. They all got 360s now and I don’t. Of course when we all still had just regular Xbox we weren’t playing as much as we once did so there is no guarantee that my getting a 360 will recapture the glory days. The Wii hasn’t any good live games but has a really cool motion sensitive controller that is revolutionizing game play. Plus the Wii is cheaper. With no money to spare at the moment it’s really all academic. I’ll just continue with my regular old Xbox (and Sega Dreamcast!) because I don’t want to pay $50 and up for new games anyway. I like ten to twenty dollar clearance sale games.

Book TV rocks! Book TV is what C-Span 2 runs on weekends and other days when Congress is not in session. Book TV broadcasts lectures by non-fiction authors on whatever subject their book happens to be about. History, politics, biography, or whatever is covered. Usually the lectures are about forty five minutes long with a Q and A at the end. The authors know their subjects well and most can speak entertainingly about them. Those who speak in sound bites need not apply.

I just watched the latest James Bond movie “Casino Royale”. I generally liked it. The “on foot” chase scene at the beginning was spectacular. Impossible but spectacular. Most of the fighting was well done. Short, brutal, and scary. Unfortunately the movie lost focus around the million dollar card game and it was down hill from there. Not terribly down hill but not as interesting. Villains started moving in and out of the plot and I had a hard time keeping track of who was who. Even worse I didn’t care who was who. None of them were interesting. They were cardboard cut out evil characters. The “Bond in love” part came out of nowhere too. That part was the least convincing. But overall it is worth a look because a lot of it is well done. Just expect to be a little bored at the end.

Here’s to hoping it warms up and melts the snow this week.

I’m tired of the winter and I’m ready for the spring. So it’s time to wax a little poetic. I’m not a winter hater; after all it’s the only time I get to wear my long coats. I dig a good long coat. They’re so much cooler than short coats. But every year come the beginning of March I get tired of the cold, ice, and snow. This year is no exception especially after the extra cold weather of the last two weeks when we should have been inching towards warmer temperatures.

I’m also tired of riding a stationary bike and want to get out on the road and ride a real bike. There is hardly a more boring form of exercise than pedaling a mock bicycle that goes nowhere. Sure you can have the TV on, listen to the radio, or even read a book (if you don’t ride too energetically) but that barley cuts down on the tedium. Outside on a real bike with the world flying by is a more fun. Even if I do ride the same route almost every time. And nothing beats powering up a hill and then breathlessly flying down the other side. A hill is hard work followed by the satisfaction of a reward. The only reward on a stationary bike is not falling completely out of shape.

I do want a new short coat for the springtime. I usually wear a sport coat as my spring and fall jacket. I had one I liked and wore for years until the lining wore down to nothing. It was some lightweight poly blend that held up well and was a great green color. Last year I got a wool sport coat. Turns out I’m not that fond of wool for a light weight coat. It’s too warm and the color isn’t a good as the old one. Still, I wear it. Maybe I can get the lining fixed in my old one.

And the sunshine. I can really use some of that. Sitting out in the spring sunshine and drawing. That sounds like a good time.

This is the time of year I wish I were a baseball fan. Springtime goes hand in hand with the start of a new season. I think that’s why baseball fans are the most hopeful and poetic of all sports fans when a new season starts. They look forward to a nice spring day to sit in the sunshine and watch their team play. It’s not until the hot sun of summer and many losses that a baseball fan gets despondent. The August sun and a losing team does not a happy marriage make.

I do like going out on a cold winter night though. As long as I’m all bundled up with hat, gloves, scarf, boots, and a nice warm coat. Keeping warm is a lot easier than keeping cool. Plus the world empties when it gets too cold out so there is more room in the world for me. Still I’m tired of the whole freezing cold thing for this year. And a warm spring night can bring out the people and make you feel like you’re part of something. There is a lot more sense of community in the spring. Winter is every man for himself.

And there is a little glimpse into anticipating the springtime me.

Recently I was watching a documentary on HBO called “Thin”. It’s about four women who are at a clinic for eating disorders. All the women are too thin. Hence the title of the film.

I know all about how “the media” gives young girls visions of unrealistic body types i.e. almost everyone on TV and in the movies is young, pretty, tall and thin but I still find this “thin” disorder baffling. I don’t fit the demographic model for those who have the disorder but I should be able to relate to it on a human level. Yet it’s tough with this one.

I find other common disorders much less baffling and and more easily explainable.

Overeating: food tastes good and it makes people feel good to eat. When people don’t have a lot in their life to make them feel good they can eat to feel good. There is tons of food around so it’s an easy temptation. I’ve overeaten at times and have eaten because something tastes good rather than because I’m hungry. I can relate. That’s an easy one.

Alcohol: Feeling bad? Have a drink and you’ll feel better. That’s why the stuff was invented. Drink too much and it will make you feel bad all of the time and then you need some hair of the dog. Then you have a problem. I am not nor never have been a drinker but I understand wanting to feel good, wanting change your mindset, or escaping from the everyday. I can relate.

Gambling: It gives people a rush (so I’m told I get no rush) and makes them feel alive. When it’s someone’s only way to feel alive life gets crazy. Math, numbers, and odds are real to me in such a way that I know the house will always win in the long run. I can’t get past that and as a result have no interest in gambling but I understand wanting to get rich quick. And thrills. Who doesn’t understand being hook on a thrill?

Sure those explanations don’t take into account the complexities of any given individual’s life and they may be simplistic but at least the allow me to relate on some level to those who suffer from those problems.

Undereating I don’t easily relate too. It really looks to me that it should be mostly an emotional problem. I think overeating is mostly an emotional problem. Eat to fill an emotional void and it becomes a habit. Fix the underlying emotional problem and the habit of overeating can be fixed easier. Undereating (in the program I was watching I know no undereaters myself) doesn’t seem to have an underlying emotional problem. At least not one I could see. Don’t get me wrong, the women all seemed to have emotional problems just none that I could see obviously linked to the undereating. I can usually see the emotional problems liked to overeating. Especially in TV documentaries where they spell things out for you.

Maybe undereating baffles me because these women seem to be getting nothing out of it. They are all unhealthy and miserable yet want to be thin so badly that they are perfectly willing to continue not eating. One even said that if death was the price of being thin then she was willing to pay it. Ouch.

To further confuse me the women don’t even know that they are thin. They think they are fat. Overeaters know that they are fat. How come undereaters don’t know they are thin? It’s a whole different ballgame. It’s like their brains are wired in a completely upside down way. This disorder passes my comprehension by. But I do feel for them. Underweight is even more dangerous than overweight and the women’s suffering in this documentary is clear. I think I need a cookie.

I’m as big a pro football fan as anyone. I’m in front of the TV every week for the Giants’ games and at least have the TV on for many other games. I may not actually sit and watch every NFL game but I have an interest. The games make good background noise if nothing else. I’ve played fantasy football every year since the late Eighties. That was before the age of computers when my league had to figure out who won and lost our games by looking up the stats in newspapers. Pencil and paper, baby.

At the end of April is the NFL draft. That’s where all the NFL teams get together and choose which college players they can hire. The draft is televised every year now. As entertainment it’s pretty much a non event but still a few football starved friends and I get together every year. We hang out and watch the draft. It’s a good chance to get together because you don’t have to pay too much attention to the actual draft. Social events don’t need something that demands your attention interrupting them.

Now, for the first time, the NFL has come up with even more of a non event to watch. The NFL scouting combine. To be fair it is such a non event that it’s only on the fledgling NFL network which my cable system doesn’t even offer. I can’t see it. At least the NFL draft is on ESPN. But still it’s only the first year the combine is televised so it may grow into an even bigger non event.

The NFL scouting combine is where college football players and NFL scouts get together in one place (Indianapolis) so the potential draftees can get measured, weighed, and race to see how fast they are. I haven’t seen it but I can safely say that I think the entertainment value is zero. But still people want to see it. Only the hardcore need apply.

The funny thing is that a lot of the top guys coming out of college don’t even participate in the NFL combines. That’s because there is another day, NFL Pro day, where college athletes work out for NFL scouts. I guess the top guys don’t want to be seen with the rabble. I have no idea if NFL Pro day will be televised. I think it is not centralized like the combine so it would be harder to shoot. The scouts show up at individual colleges for Pro Day.

I don’t watch any other sports besides pro football with any regularity. Sure I’ll catch a baseball, basketball, hockey, or soccer game every now and then but I have no favorite team in those sports and don’t care much who wins or losses. So in the football off season I only flip by ESPN for shorts bursts. But in those short burst I’ve managed to catch some NFL combine news. Yes, ESPN has reporters there keeping an eye on who can run a 4.3 forty.That’s a forty yard dash in 4.3 seconds and the difference between being drafted in the first round and getting millions of dollars and not being drafted at all.

These reporters can make whole segments out of nothing. Opinions based on opinions based on opinions about who the surprises and busts will be. Who will move up in the draft because of these work outs? Who will move down? Opinions and speculation from talking heads is running rampant this week. Opinions on who has “character” and who doesn’t. It’s easy to tell who doesn’t have character. They’re the ones getting arrested. Dead giveaway.

So if you have the NFL network you can tune into the new ultimate football non event. At lest until they invent another one. I think they should televise the GM meetings where they decide to cut veteran players for salary cap reasons. That would be exciting non event TV.