Radiant Comics

I bought a new video game this weekend. It was my favorite kind. Cheap. I decided a long time ago that almost no video game was worth fifty dollars. I used to be one of those who loved to play the latest and greatest video games but somewhere around the time of the first Tomb Raider game that all ended.

The Sony Playstation was in a large part responsible for cooling my enthusiasm. When it first came out everybody loved the Playstation. Everybody but me. I didn’t have anything against it. I wasn’t inherently bad or anything it was just that, in those days, any game that was in 3D was considered impressive. You could make a game about two guys walking down some stairs and if it was in 3D people would rave about it. Game play actually went backward for a couple of years as the technology went forward. I would point out to friends that the new game they loved had horrible game play and their answer was always the same, “But it’s in 3D”.

Lots of bad fifty dollar but in 3D video games broke me of wanting the latest and greatest games available. It is not a good feeling spending fifty bucks on a game, getting home, popping it in the console and trying to like it. That is what I would do. I would try to like it. My friends would ask me how it was and I’d say, “It’s not so bad” or “It’s pretty good” with little enthusiasm. My friends would have that same reaction after buying a bad game. It took about a week to admit to ourselves that we wasted our money on a game. A week of forcing ourselves to play the game as the inevitable realization sank in. We were video game fans and read all the gaming magazines (this was before the internet) so the anticipation for the latest and greatest game was always high. The crash of disappointment was just as low but it took a while to sink in.

I also used to be an early adopter of systems in general. Home consoles and hand helds I had them all. I learned my lesson with the Playstation in this regard too. I never bought a PS2 and got an XBox only a couple of years ago. Until then I was having a good time with the Sega Dreamcast and its stable of cheap last generation games and peripherals. That is the thing I insist on when getting a new system. A solid stable of under twenty dollar games to choose from. This means I am not getting a PS3 or XBox 360 any time soon. A small stable of fifty dollar games doesn’t do the job.

The exception to this twenty dollar rule is the killer ap. It is possible that one really good game can get me to buy a system. I bought a Nintendo DS just because Advance Wars 3 came out for it. A used DS and the game cost me under $150 so price had something to do with it too. I am unlikely to drop $600 on a PS3 or XBox 360 for just one game. As pretty as the Playstation Portable is $200 for the system plus fifty dollars a game is steep. Especially since most of the games are ports and can be found on other systems for half the price or less. And don’t get me started on Sony memory sticks. Still, it is a pretty thing.

The game that I bought this weekend? It is “Deus Ex Invivible War” for the XBox. It got great reviews when it came out in 2003. It was originally fifty bucks but I bought it used for $4.20 tax included. Yes, that is how fast video games become nearly worthless. Does anything lose its value faster than a video game? I can’t think of any other pop culture entertainment that sells for eight percent of its original retail price just three years later. You can’t get a fifty dollar DVD set for four dollars. Even last year’s issues of Aquaman go for more than eight percent of their cover price. And no one wants Aquaman comics.

I have yet another video game rule that keeps me from liking a lot of modern games. I think a game should be able to be played for twenty minutes and then put down. I often only have twenty minutes to play so it is a practical rule but also a philosophical one. I want a game with my video game. So often video games are about something other than an actual game. They are about being in an environment or being dragged through a story. If I stop playing a game for a week or two and then come back to it I should be able to pick it up no problem. That is not the case with a lot of games. In some if you forget what you were doing you will be lost and have to start over. You are really just following one specific trail and if you lose its scent the game is pointless. As a matter of fact there is no game just a path to walk.

I also hate cut scenes though they are hard to avoid these days. I don’t want a story. I want a game. Movies, books and comics are better at telling stories than video games ever will be. I want my game to be a game not a fourth rate movie.

I’m not interested in any game that can’t be saved on the fly. I don’t want to find a check point in order to save. I don’t want to spend twenty minutes going through a level only to die and then having to spend twenty minutes going through the same level to get back to where I was. Saving should not be part of the “challenge” of the game.

Yes, I have a lot of demands of my video games. You can see why I don’t play them as often as I once did.

As I was working today I had on the TV as I often do. I was listening to a program on the Holy Grail. As “In Search Of” type shows go the Holy Grail is not one of the topics that I find very interesting. The cup from the last supper wasn’t even thought about until 1000 years after it was supposedly used so the “history” of it is relatively new. There is no real history there except the history of people getting interested in the Holy Grail. Then a funny thing happened. As I was listening to the TV they said the passage from the bible that mentions the cup.

King James Version Luke 22:21: “In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.”

The handy old internet found me that quote because my ability to quote the Bible is limited. You gotta dig the internet.

That quote is part of the Catholic mass so I heard it every week for the first eighteen years of my life but hearing it in the context of this Holy Grail show put a new thought into my head. The thought was, “Man, those Holy Grail seekers are crazy”.

I know faith can do funny things to people and has a dark side that is rarely mentioned i.e a lot of people throughout history have been willing to lie, cheat, steal and kill in order to “prove” their faith to themselves and others but I perceived a different type of craziness.

The last supper scene in the Bible is really the ultimate scene. The “new covenant” that Jesus mentions is the whole point of the New Testament. The crucifixion is great theatre and the part that gets all the play but it was really just the price to be paid for the new covenant. Without the new covenant the crucifixion is pointless. The old deal of “No one gets into heaven because Adam and Eve screwed everything up” was over and the new deal of “Follow my lead and you can get into heaven” was born. That is the overall message of Jesus which he delivers at the last supper and what do some people want? The cup.

Why not the chair Jesus sat on? Or his plate? Or his napkin? I’m sure Jesus didn’t just use his sleeve; so find me that napkin! Is it because a cup was actually mentioned that it caught people’s attention? Somebody tell them that the cup is a metaphor. It is no more important than Jesus’s spoon.

I just don’t get it. Jesus gets up and delivers the ultimate speech of his career letting everybody in on the point of his story and all some people can say is, “Ain’t that a nice piece of silver he’s holding”. Or maybe they are just out to prove their faith. At least they’re not killing anyone to do it.

I may be a grown-up but I am no stranger to taking naps. Some days I’m just tired and need to lay myself down on the couch for a little while. I’ve taken many a nap on the bus ride into NYC both before and after a work day.

A normal nap for me is half an hour to forty five minutes and I usually have the TV on while I nap. Yet I never have the TV on or play music when I go to sleep for the night. Naps and a night’s sleep are just two different things.

I usually wake up refreshed and ready to go when I get up from a nap. But today I had one of those naps that sneaks up on a person. The kind it is tough to get up from. The kind where I didn’t even know I was so tired.

I had finished eating lunch and was getting back to working on a drawing when I felt like lying down for a bit. I channel surfed and found something to sleep to then lay my head down. An hour went by in an instant and I woke in a total fog of barely perceived reality. I crashed on the couch for another hour dozing in and out of consciousness. I just couldn’t get up. I was a lot more tired than I ever thought I was. It was a true power nap though it was the nap that had the power.

Napping on the bus is a totally different story. It is the most unrefreshing nap there is. A lot of times it is a total necessity because I have to get up early to catch the bus and there is never enough time to sleep on those days. Coming home I have boarded the bus at the Port Authority bus station and have been asleep before it even leaves the terminal. The problem with bus naps is that most of the time I will wake up feeling more tired than before. It can be a deep sleep but not a very restful one. Of course not sleeping can be even worse. The morning bus nap is usually better than the evening bus nap but not always. It can be especially weird when waking up briefly in the middle of a bus nap and not knowing if I am coming or going. Scary stuff if you think your day is ending and it is really just beginning but a relief the other way around. Busses can just be evil and that is all there is to it. We need more trains. I find them more comfortable. Well, maybe not the NYC subway.

The most disorienting kind of nap is the winter evening kind. Those are the ones where I go to sleep when is light out and awake in the dark. I wake up and don’t even know if it is 7 PM or 3 AM. It totally messes with my body clock and I won’t be able to fall asleep at any reasonable hour after that. I haven’t experienced one of those naps in a long time because I refuse to take a late evening nap anymore. Even in the summer. If I am so tired that I can’t get anything done I’ll just sit there and wait for bedtime. At least the next day I’ll wake up refreshed. Sometimes you have to sacrifice today for tomorrow’s sake.

When I nap I lie down on the couch and have the TV on. Most often I choose the History Channel or some such station that shows documentaries. Docs have an even tone and no loud music or explosions to wake me up. Preferably it is also a program that I have seen before so I won’t be too interested in it. But sometimes I need something special. A few weeks ago I came home in the afternoon absolutely tired. I needed a nap but I was a little wired and couldn’t settle down. Being tired and wired sucks but that is an observation for a future blog. Anyway, the usual TV shows were no help because I couldn’t concentrate enough to settle down and the commercials were just winding me up. I find commercials annoying and couldn’t focus enough to ignore them. So I had to put a movie on. I don’t usually nap to movies because my brain will try to follow the story instead of sleeping but with certain movies napping is a necessary defense mechanism. I put on Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron. It worked perfectly. Try to stay awake during that one. I dare you. The story isn’t worth following even when alert so I was able to settle down and take a nice nap. So you see, bad movies are good for something.

I still have not joined the Illuminati. Can you believe it? I’m beginning to despair that I ever will. These world dominating secret societies are a hard nut to crack especially if you don’t know where they hang out. It could be anywhere but according to some it is Bohemian Grove in California. At least they have a party there once a year. I figure if there are internet sites devoted to it they are not the real Illuminati. The real Illuminati are way to clever for that. I bet they have their meeting in the house of a guy who is trying to sneak into Bohemian Grove. The crasher sneaks off to California and the Illuminati raid his fridge, dip his toothbrush in the toilet and have a good laugh at the crasher’s expense. That’s how I’d do it.

I know what I need. Some positive visualization. When I close my eyes I have to picture myself as a member of the Illuminati. I see myself at a country estate, no, scratch that, I’m in a sky scraper somewhere in Manhattan. I’m in a large room with no windows because we don’t want anyone looking in. The room is furnished with a bunch of antiques and no modern equipment because this is the room where my fellow Illuminati members and I decide the fate of millions and we do it old school. No phones, no faxes and no pesky listening devices to blow our cover. I bet we even have an EMP generator to foil all electronics. I think there would be secret entrances and exits to the building so no one would be able to tell who we are. Not just dark tinted limos but secret tunnels.

Only men would be in the room because who has ever heard of a coed secret society? Someone would shoot their mouth of if there was a divorce. I can hear it now, “What do you mean you get to keep the secret society? I went way more often so I get to keep it”. That would only end with one party spilling the beans out of spite, “Now neither of us has a secret society. So there.” The only kind of coed secret society has to be a sex club á la “Eyes Wide Shut”. I’m sure as a member of the Illuminati I wouldn’t need to join a sex club because I could just snap my fingers and have women sent up to my hotel room. The Illuminati must spend a lot of time in fancy hotels. I’m not sure why but I think ruling the world involves a fair bit of traveling. Only one or two Illuminati would stay home all the time and rule from home base. I’d be hands on. You have to travel the world to rule it. I’d stay in only the best hotels where only the best concierges would tend to my every want. I wouldn’t really trust them, of course. We Illuminati know the difference between insiders and outsiders.

If I joined the Illuminati, pardon me, when I join the Illuminati (positive visualization) I’ll probably learn to smoke cigars too. A real secret society atmosphere is created by cigar smoke. If I entered some random room and it smelled of cigars, the good kind not the stinky kind, I’d wonder what kind of meeting went on in there. Of course no stranger would wander by our meeting room ever because it would be reserved just for our meetings. So you will never know that I learned to smoke cigars.

I’m sure that ruling the world through a secret society won’t be easy. All of us world rulers have massive egos and maybe some competing interests so there will be arguments and passions should run high. But we would have to settle things peacefully because we can’t afford unwanted attention. Ruling the world is tricky business. Hmmm, it sound kind of like organized crime. But we would be above the law and technically not criminals. Nice.

I don’t know if any of the Illuminati would ever read this because I don’t imagine any of them ever go onto the internet. Why would they? They are all super rich and have their every need handled by a staff of hundreds. I wouldn’t go on the internet. I’d just nod my head and things would happen. I wouldn’t have to look anything up because I would know everything: who shot JFK, where the aliens landed, what happened to the perpetual motion machine and why the New York Jets always lose.

There would have to be a sense of history among the Illuminati. A sense of, “we’ve done this before and we’ll be doing this forever”. Elders would pass down information to the younger guys they are mentoring keeping alive the old victories to inspire new ones. It would all seem so congenial and comforting emphasizing that we all belong to something bigger. Well, not you all, just me and my Illuminati buddies. You all would just be puppets dancing on our strings. If we payed attention to you at all. Bwwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Why does life have to seem so long one day and so short the next? Can’t time get its act together? I’m tired of this “time is relative” crap. I need some consistency in my universe! If there are no rules at all people will start eating ice cream for breakfast. Madness will ensue.