I need some new clothes. Except that I don’t care. Well, yes I do. It’s that my no caring battles with my caring until I find some middle ground. The middle ground changes as my clothes get older and worn.

I do care how I look. I refuse to wear the official “I’ve given up on life” outfit of elastic waisted pants (especially sweat pants) and shapeless oversized shirts that is the official uniform of so much of America. Yet I also don’t want to spend a lot of time and money on my clothes.

Years ago I simplified my wardrobe. I cut it down to a few pairs of pants and some solid colored shirts. I stopped buying my fancy vests and patterned shirts. Not that I was ever a huge patterned shirt guy but I had some. A couple of years after that I simplified even further and wore only clothes that were green or black. I have no explanation but those were the only colors I could tolerate wearing. But about a year ago I moved out of that phase and bought some blue jeans. I’ve added a couple of solid blue shirts and such since them too.

So I need some new clothes now except I have no ideas for what to get. My old clothes haven’t quite worn out yet but they are getting there. I’m close enough to have to think about it but not close enough to have to go out and buy things. A new sports coat was the only new thing of any import that I got this spring. I do love a nice sports coat.

I wear shorts most of the summer but I hate all the shorts I have. I hate all of these long shorts that have been popular in the last twenty years. Why would want my shorts to come down below my knees? If I wanted knickers I’d buy knickers. Somehow showing your knees in a pair of shorts has become shocking to the youth of America. How the hell did that happen? And cargo shorts? Why would I need ten pockets? I have no need to carry cargo around in my shorts. I don’t want more layers of material. I’m wearing shorts to keep cool. I’ve been wearing one pair of shorts all summer. They’re too long but at least they are microfiber.

I’m awfully tired of all of my t-shirts too. They are all plain shirts because I got sick of wearing t-shirts with logos on them years ago but now I’m sick of the plain ones too. It’s the summer time so it’s not like there are a lot of alternatives to the t-shirt. Maybe I’ll have to track down some Hawaiian shirts or some such. I don’t know.

My sock situation has to be taken care of too. You see, I always wear two different color socks. When my wardrobe was all green and black so were all my socks. One green sock and one black sock. Before that I had many different color socks that I’d mix and match. There was also a period where I wore one white sock and one black sock. I even had to dye some socks green last year because I couldn’t find and green socks to buy. That was the only time I dyed something (well, I did ruin something once dying it but that’s another story). Right now my socks are still green and black but if I get new clothes I’ll have to think of what socks to get. It’s all very confusing.

I also need new shoes. No decisions on what to get there. I have short wide feet and most shoes don’t fit me so I’ve been buying the same type of Rockports for years now. They fit me best but at $100 buck a pair are expensive. I have a black and a brown pair so that’s $200 to replace them. They’re not quite at that totally worn out stage so I haven’t pulled the trigger on getting new ones. Spending money on shoes is boring. I hate boring.

The funny part of all this is that these days I work from home. I don’t have an office to go into for everyone to see what I’m wearing that day. There’s no one to impress but me. But I do need to be impressed so I may as well.